The Light That Darkens Within

We all go through loss at least once in our lifetime, right? The difficulties of the realization that we are all born with the promise of death. I sit in a dark place, mourning the loss of my sister. Years of fighting Triple-Negative breast cancer, some might say she finally “lost her battle”. I disagree.

As she fought the valiant fight, she never lost in my eye. When people pass away, most go on & on about how amazing the person was. For my sister, these statements do not give her justice. A humble human being that lived her life exploding with energy that was transmitted into every individual she came across. Saying that she changed peoples lives for the better is an understatement.

During devastating heartbreaks, you can come down with takotsubo cardiomyopathy, also know as “Broken Heart Syndrome”. Imagine your heart being a candle, burning bright with a fire that lights up your soul. As this grief takes over, it covers the fire, cutting off oxygen as to let it die slowly. All the while, you feel shortness of breath from the lack of oxygen as you feel trapped… Trapped that no matter what you do, it cannot & will no change anything.

She is gone…Realistically her legacy continues as she changed the hearts of many. Social media consumed by hundreds & thousands of comments & post from the many that miss her. I even asked God if it was wrong to wish it was me over her… I miss her. Not because I am not physically with her, as she always lived far. I miss her, as I no longer feel her presence on this plane. I feel desperate to be half of the person she was. What will I leave behind? What can I offer this world? When will my fire be able; to breath once more…