Two Coffees Please
Meet Andrew, a native North Carolinian who loves to read, hike, and eat good food without having to cook. Andrew manages a busy Starbucks in Durham near the Southpoint Mall. The constant demand for coffee always creates a steady stream of foot traffic. During one of Andrew's busy days, I got the pleasure to meet him. He welcomed me with a genuine passion that made me feel cared for as a patron, even after I messed up an order. Safe to say that this would be my new coffee home.
I started my weekly visits for coffee just to have the delightful experiences I have come to appreciate from Andrew. But one day I stopped seeing him. Weeks would fly by as I would come in and wonder if he was promoted or changed career paths, maybe even a sabbatical. It felt odd to ask his coworkers, so I continued my routines, until one day he was back as if he never left. I pondered what could have caused his absence from the coffee shop. A vacation? A wedding? A family emergency? His short nonappearance in my life affected me more than I realized. Andrew would later divulge to me that he was in rehab. It was a surprise to hear that from him, but I was elated at the fact he was sober now.
But, why was I so surprised? Andrew had this ability to convey his words in a way that gave me comfort and reassurance. As if there is always hope in our darkest times. I believe my surprised nature came from how deeply I connected and cared for this human as we developed a friendship. At that moment, I realized that I wanted to learn more about this person who took the time to welcome me into this busy coffee shop multiple times. I had not been hospitable. It was glaringly obvious that I did not know the struggles he was going through. Not because he did not want to share, but because I never asked. Alcohol had a grip on him. He was able to become a fully functioning alcoholic. He never has a problem hiding his dependence from those around him, including his coworkers and employees.
I learned that alcoholism run in his family and Andrew was also using alcohol to face the reality of his own sexuality because of the social stigmas embedded within its beautiful nature. Part of living in what most consider the south, which can have some older ideologies. Struggling between the person he shows to the world and the true person he is creates a far too familiar story of struggles that many people have. Through hiding, you battle yourself and it is not a fight that everyone wins. Andrew cared less and less about himself. Coming to work inebriated, driving beyond the limits, and living with his new normal of alcoholism. This was his form of coping.
Going through some of the darkest times of his life, it can be easy to get stuck there. He felt empty without any hope but instead of sinking into helplessness, he reached out. He went into rehab, deciding enough was enough, and is now 11 months sober. He continues to be the shining light in that busy, crowded, franchised Starbucks that he helped foster into a second home for me. Andrew is working through Starbucks to get a Human Resources Counseling degree & I hope you can all go visit him at the Renaissance Center Starbucks at 6813 Fayetteville Road Durham, NC 27713. He would love for everyone to say hi, so his Instagram is @abnelms1986.